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Thursday 3 August 2017

Confession: Woman Who Was S*xually Abused By Her Own Father From Age 3 Reveals How It All Happened

Abbey Hessing
A woman who was s*xually abused by her own father at the mere age of three, has come out to talk about the horrific treatment. A woman who was s*xually abused by her dad from the age of three has told how he would excuse his vile actions by saying he did it “because he loved her”.
Abbey Hessing, 23, from Manchester, was put through ten years of hell by father Mark Hessing, 57, before she finally exposed his lurid secret.
In October 2015, Hessing was found guilty of 13 charges of indecent assault and sentenced to four years in prison – which was increased to eight years after he appealed.
Now Abbey has bravely waived her right to anonymity to speak out in the hope that it will help other victims of childhood s*xual abuse.
Abbey’s parents broke up when she was two, and she lived with her mum Karen during the week and Hessing at weekends.
She told how her earliest memories of the weekends were of fun trips to the park to play on the swings, or to the local swimming pool.
But as Abbey got older, her dad started doing things to her that she was too young to understand were hideously wrong.
She recalled: “Dad used to take me into his bedroom. He’d lay me on his bed and climb on top of me, his belly squashing me.
“He would touch me and make me touch him too. I feared he’d squash me with his beer belly.

“But even as I gasped for breath, I didn’t say anything. I didn’t know how to. Afterwards he would buy me sweets and tell me what a good girl I was.”
The horrific abuse wasn’t confined to the bedroom.
Hessing would lure Abbey to the park with promises of swings and slides, then take her into the maze where he would take advantage of her.
She told how he would touch her inappropriately in the changing rooms of the swimming pool as he dried her off.

“I didn’t know it was wrong,” she admitted. “I thought it was what all dads did.
“One minute he was touching me, the next he was taking me to my favourite cafe for cheesy chips.

“It was a confusing reward system that led to years of complex guilt for me.”
Hessing scared his daughter into silence, warning her no-one would believe her if she dared tell.
He claimed that when she was older, there would be no proof.
Abbey said: “I didn’t want to upset him. I didn’t even dread going to see him.

“I thought he touched me because he loved me. That’s what he told me and I was too innocent to know otherwise.”
Hessing got a girlfriend in 2007, when Abbey was 13, and the abuse suddenly stopped.
She admitted: “I craved affection from him and didn’t understand why he was treating me differently. I muddled abuse with love and so, a year later, I started sleeping around.

“I wanted men to treat me like Dad had because it was all I knew.

“I tried to block out my memories, but as I got older, the flashbacks became so intense.

“I had a recurring nightmare that I was having sex with Dad. I’d wake up drenched in sweat, my heart racing.”
Feeling worthless, Abbey began self-harming.
She said: “I’d spent years complicit to his sexual advances and I was disgusted with myself, which only made me want to hurt myself more.”
Abbey still saw Hessing occasionally – and it was a chance encounter when Abbey was 18 that was the turning point.
She witnessed her dad give a little girl a seemingly innocent hug and kiss at a family gathering.
Knowing he was not to be trusted, Abbey was consumed with panic. She knew she had to stop him before he hurt anyone else.

“I finally told Mum everything,” she said. “She was devastated and took me straight to the police.
“I was interviewed for five hours and told them everything I’d tried so hard to block out.”
Hessing was arrested and released on bail. But while Abbey waited for the case to reach Manchester Crown Court, she couldn’t cope with what was happening.
She explained: “I took an overdose and was sectioned under the Mental Health Act.

“I didn’t want to die, I just hated the nightmares. They were so realistic that it was like Dad was still abusing me, night after night.”
In October 2015, Hessing appeared in court, denying 13 charges of indecent assault.
Abbey gave evidence via video link and her father was found guilty – but he appealed and his case was reviewed at the Court of Appeal in March 2016.
But instead of his sentence being cut as Abbey feared, judges deemed the sentence too lenient and it was upped to eight years.
Abbey said: “The judge said that he had used me to satisfy his sexual urges.

“Dad was hoping to cut his sentence and instead it was doubled. Maybe now he’d know what it was like to live in someone else’s prison.

“Hating Dad would be too exhausting. I pity him. He must be a troubled man to have taken my innocence.
“He told me he loved me but I now know he didn’t, because you don’t hurt the people you love.”
In February 2017, Abbey and her mum Karen launched their charity, Escape, with Corrie star Kym Marsh (Michelle Connor) as patron. They hope to build a 15 bedroom safe-house with on-site counselling, sensory rooms and pet therapy for survivors of childhood sexual abuse.
The project is privately funded, with donations and fundraising events such as charity balls.

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